Learn how to heal from emotional trauma with proven strategies for emotional well-being and resilience. This message covers Biblical techniques for overcoming emotional wounds, fostering mental health, and building inner strength. Whether you’re dealing with past trauma or current challenges, find out how to support your journey to emotional recovery.
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Notes on Why You Need and How to Have Well Healed Wounds
Why you Need and How to Have Well Healed Wounds
Jeremiah 17:5-14 NLT “Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the Lord. They are like stunted shrubs in the desert, with no hope for the future. They will live in the barren wilderness, in an uninhabited salty land. But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit. The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I, the Lord, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve. Like a partridge that hatches eggs she has not laid, so are those who get their wealth by unjust means. At midlife they will lose their riches; in the end, they will become poor old fools. But we worship at your throne— eternal, high, and glorious! O Lord, the hope of Israel, all who turn away from you will be disgraced. They will be buried in the dust of the earth, for they have abandoned the Lord, the fountain of living water. O Lord, if you heal me, I will be truly healed; if you save me, I will be truly saved. My praises are for you alone!”
Today we’re talking about Why we need and how to have well healed wounds.
Can I pray?
I was in a church to help launch a fast from negativity. I was going to explain the concept of “gravitas.” This description comes from M. Craig Barnes “The Pastor as Minor Poet” p. 49
It [gravitas] speaks to a soul that has developed enough spiritual mass to be attractive, like gravity. It makes the soul appear old, but gravitas has nothing to do with age. It has everything to do with wounds that have healed well, failures that have been redeemed, sins that have been forgiven, and thorns that have settled into the flesh. These severe experiences with life expand the soul until it appears larger than the body that contains it. Then it is large enough to proclaim a holy joy, which makes the soul so attractive.
As I shared that, I felt I needed to expand the message. I said something like this extemporaneously,
“Some of you here take pride in your wounds. You wear your pain like a badge of honour. You think it makes you acceptable to God. But God wants you to know that your wounds hurt Him and what brings Him joy is when your wounds well healed. You need to have well healed wounds.”
After the service a lady came up to me with tears in her eyes. She told me some time ago God impressed upon her that her wounds would heal well. She said, “when you said that phrase – ‘well healed wounds’ – I knew God was saying my time of healing is complete.”
I was floored. I had just come from a long conversation with someone telling me how tough his life was and how he had a right to his bitterness. This lady had the opposite spirit. It was amazing.
Does having well healed wounds really matter?
Life often gives us opportunities to choose between becoming better or becoming bitter. God’s will is for us to become more and more like Jesus.
It’s never a good choice to be bitter against God. And the worst part is we can spiritualize it.
Imagine Eeyore is speaking: “He’s the potter, I’m the clay. I’m the work of His hand” “What is man that you’re mindful of him, the son of man that you’d care for him?” “Enjoy life with the wife you love…all your days of your life, all your miserable days”.
We’ve been there right? Keep imagining Eeyore…“Don’t pray for patience, you’d just have to wait.”
Should Biblical truth suck the faith out of you?
When we spiritualize being offended at God, we don’t even realize we can be bitter against God.
Hebrews 12:15 (NLT) Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.
Remember that To live loved means we love each other
We love each other as we love ourselves… Matthew 22:39, Mark 12:31, Luke 10:27, Galatians 5:14, James 2:8, 1 John 4:10-11; 2 John 1:5
Because He first loved us… 1 John 4:19-20
Our love is sincere, we’re devoted to one another with brotherly love and honour one another above ourselves… Romans 12:9-10
We share with God’s people who are in need and practice hospitality… Romans 12:13
We forgive… Colossians 3:13-14
We are patient, kind. We don’t envy, don’t boast and are not proud… 1 Corinthians 13:4
We are not rude, we’re not self-seeking, we’re not easily angered… 1 Corinthians 13:5
We’re unoffendable – We keep no record of wrong… 1 Corinthians 13:5
We always protect, always trust, always hope and always persevere. 1 Corinthians 13:7
We are united together John 17:23
And can’t be motivated by fear 1 John 4:18
love covers a multitude of sins 1 Peter 4:8
The only debt that remains outstanding is our debt to love one another… Romans 13:8
We can’t live that way if our wounds are not well-healed.
It matters that we have well healed wounds.
Imagine
What would it be like if we all had well healed wounds?
1. Restoration of Relationships
Healing allows us to restore and maintain healthy relationships with others.
“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.” – Matthew 5:23-24 (NLT)
2. Personal Growth
Well-healed emotional wounds contribute to our personal growth and maturity.
“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” – Romans 8:28 (NLT)
3. Freedom from Past Hurts
Healing helps us let go of bitterness and resentment, leading to freedom and peace.
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:31-32 (NLT)
4. Strengthening Faith
Emotional healing strengthens our faith and reliance on God’s promises.
“He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3 (NLT)
5. Ability for us to better help each other.
Healed individuals can provide support and encouragement to others facing similar struggles.
“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort others.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NLT)
6. We’d all be focussed on our divine purpose
Healing leads to peace in our lives, allowing us to focus on our divine purpose.
“Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:7 (NLT)
7. Reflecting God’s Love
When we heal, we can better reflect God’s love and compassion to others.
“Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God.” – 1 John 4:7 (NLT)
Healing emotional wounds is crucial for personal well-being and spiritual growth. The process encourages forgiveness, restoration, and support from both God and others.
When you have well healed wounds you can trust God as you trust in the God of Hope he fills you with peace and joy so that you overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
So how can we all have well healed wounds?
That’s a great question, I’m so glad you asked.
He is the one who heals our wounds
Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Our role is to HEAL
H – Hasten healing: want to be healed. Jeremiah 17:14
E – Engage in Biblical Counselling. Proverbs 11:14
A – Always forgive with your whole heart. Matthew 18:35
L – Live unoffended at God. Matthew 11:2-6
H – Hasten healing: want to be healed
Jeremiah 17:14 (NIVUK) Heal me, Lord, and I shall be healed; save me and I shall be saved, for you are the one I praise.
My friend Gary and I are were doing a treasure hunt in a mall. He had a lot more experience than I did with it. But on this day, I was running into people I knew and everyone I asked wanted to get prayer for something. Garry was being turned down consistently, but the icing on the cake was a when a woman came hobbling by with a cane and Gary asked her if she’d like to be healed. She kept on walking and with more determination as she pulled her hanging jacket into her said, “I like my drugs.”
I’ve never met anyone with well healed wounds who didn’t want to get healed.
But I’ve met a lot of people who have learned to cope and have settled into coping.
And I’ve met a lot of Christians who feel it’s the burden God wants them to bear almost take pride in their wounds.
Remember the story of the Jesus healing the man by the pool of Bethesda? John 5:1-15 Jesus asked him “Do you want to be healed?”
What did he respond? “I can’t…” We can give God every excuse not to give us well healed wounds. There’s only one thing that I’ve seen break every excuse…
People who don’t want to get healed need a revelation of the love of God.
Those who need to cope need to treat all hardship as disciple knowing God is a Good Father and is working all things together for good and that He will finish the good work started in you, so seek His face always and live! Hebrews 12:7-11, 1 Chronicles 16:11; Amos 5:4
The ones who take pride in their wounds need to stop giving God credit for the works of the one who comes to steal, kill and destroy. John 10:10
The question you can ask is:
Do I want to have well healed wounds?
E – Engage in Biblical Counselling
Proverbs 11:14 Without wise leadership, a nation falls; there is safety in having many advisers.
All counselling can be beneficial. Biblical counselling is a form of guidance and support that draws on the teachings of the Bible to address emotional, psychological, and spiritual issues. It focuses on biblical truth and confession and repentance.
7 Benefits in Engaging with Biblical Counselling
1. Get God’s Wisdom.
James 1:5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
Biblical counselling seeks to align our understanding and actions with God’s wisdom.
2. Find restoration and healing.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.
Biblical counselling aims to bring individuals back to a place of emotional and spiritual health.
3. Obtain guidance in life’s challenges
Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
Biblical counselling helps individuals navigate life’s difficulties with guidance rooted in Scripture.
4. Transform through renewing the mind.
Romans 12:2 Don’t copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Biblical counselling focuses on transforming thoughts and behaviours in accordance with God’s Word.
5. Address sin and encourage growth.
Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.
Without confession there is no repentance and without repentance there is no meaningful change.
Biblical counselling can help individuals identify areas of sin or struggle in their lives and encourage them toward spiritual growth.
6. Encounter hope and encouragement.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.
Biblical counselling can provide hope and encouragement to those feeling lost or overwhelmed.
7. Receive Accountability:
Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.
Biblical counselling fosters accountability, helping individuals stay committed to their spiritual and personal growth.
Biblical counselling that leads to Holy Spirit being your counsellor is—in my opinion—the fastest and most effective way to have well healed wounds. I’ve done enough biblical counselling to know how far I can get people to on 6 or 8 weeks of meeting. When I learned to have them hear Holy Spirit for themselves, I saw that 6 or 8 weeks shrink to 20-30 minutes… Biblical counselling should lead people to hearing Holy Spirit for themselves.
We’re going to give you time for that today.
The question you can ask is…
Do I need to seek out Biblical counselling?
A – Always forgive with your whole heart
Matthew 18:35 That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.
Your heart is the seat of your decision, the seat of your actions and the seat of your emotions. We choose to forgive, we bless in the name of Jesus and we should feel like we’ve forgiven. It’s effortless.
Sometimes it’s easy for us to feel forgiveness. We choose to forgive and we feel like we’ve forgiven.
Other times we don’t feel like we’ve forgiven. So—in a safe way—we bless those who curse us. When we do, we feel like we’ve forgiven.
Other times we can choose to forgive and safely bless and still don’t feel like we’ve forgiven.
It has nothing to do with the atrociousnes of the offence. It has everything to do with the lie we believe.
We need to get Holy Spirit to replace the lie with the truth. So let me re-introduce to you the How to Feel Like You’ve Forgiven Tool.
How to have GRACE to feel like you’ve forgiven tool
GRACE
G – Get in touch with the emotion
R – Remember when you felt like this before
A – Accept what the feeling reveals
C – Centre in on the truth
E – Examine if the feelings have changed
Let’s expand this…
G – Get in touch with the emotion
How does it make me feel? What comes to mind when I focus on what I’m feeling? When have I felt this way before?
R – Remember when you felt like this before
Is there an earlier emotion? How does that make me feel? Why do I feel that way? Why does believing _______ make me feel _____?
A – Accept what the feeling reveals
Not that it’s true, but does it feel true that _____?
C – Centre in on the truth
What does God say about what I believe?
Lord, what do you want me to know?
E – Examine if the feelings have changed
Does it still feel true that _______?
Does it feel like I’ve forgiven the offence against me?
The question you can ask is…
Do I feel like I’ve forgiven?
L – Live unoffended at God
When Karen and I left our family, friends, finances and future on the altar and left a church I loved to move to New Zealand and my Dad was diagnosed with Bulbar ALS and very quickly died, I didn’t have a language to say how I felt.
I was mad at God, but he’s the potter, I’m the clay. If he wanted me to be a lumpy cup that sat on the shelf that was his business. I complained like Jeremiah who said “God you set me up.” But I didn’t know how to move on from the lament.
It wasn’t until I heard a message by Bill Johnson that I had a language to use and path to get healing. He talked about John the Baptist.
Matthew 11:2-6 HCSB When John heard in prison what the Messiah was doing, he sent a message by his disciples and asked Him, “Are You the One who is to come, or should we expect someone else?” Jesus replied to them, “Go and report to John what you hear and see: the blind see, the lame walk, those with skin diseases are healed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor are told the good news. And if anyone is not offended because of Me, he is blessed.”
I was teaching this in a day seminar on hope and one of the participants closed up when I got to living unoffended at God. Her arms crossed and she slouched in her chair. I asked her what was going on. “I’m not offended at God. If God wanted to TAKE my husband, he can TAKE my husband.” She spat out the word take.
Over the years, I’ve found that’s a consistent theological response to emotional wounds. So I’ve created a tool that I use to help people know if they may be offended at God.
How to recognize you may be OFFENDED at God Tool
Here’s how to find if you may be OFFENDED at God
O – Overlook
If you can’t be still in His presence you may be offended at God.
2 Timothy 3:16-17 – “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.”
Do I let His word read me?
F – Fail
If you don’t spend time in His word, you may be offended at God.
If you can’t or won’t praise God with your whole heart, you may be offended at God.
Hebrews 13:15 – “Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to his name.”
Can I praise Him with all of my heart?
F – Falter
If you can’t or won’t praise God with your whole heart, you may be offended at God.
If you’re easily offended at others, you may be offended at God.
Proverbs 19:11 – “Smart people learn more from one rebuke than fools learn from a hundred lashes.”
Am I more easily ticked off by people?
E – Easily Offended
If you’re easily offended at others, you may be offended at God.
Proverbs 19:11 – “Smart people learn more from one rebuke than fools learn from a hundred lashes.”
Am I more easily ticked off by people?
N – Neglect
If you neglect your relationship with God, you’re likely offended at God.
James 4:8 – “Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.”
Do I do disciplines that bring me life?
D – Distance
If you rarely confess AND repent, there is a good chance you’re offended at God.
Isaiah 59:2 – “It’s your sins that have cut you off from God. Because of your sins, he has turned away and will not listen anymore.”
When was the last time I confessed to God and repented?
E – Examine-less
If you refuse to examine your ways, you’re likely offended at God.
Lamentations 3:40 – “Instead, let us test and examine our ways. Let us turn back to the Lord.”
Do I avoid examining my ways?
D – Doubt
If you don’t do what he tells you you to do, you’re likely offended at him
James 1:6 – “But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.”
Do I doubt God will be true to His word?
What is the solution when you’re offended at God?
Confession and repentance
Confession – Agreeing with God you’re offended at Him.
Example: Learn to LAMENT. Go to the Psalms or Lamentations and read until you find something that feels the same way you do. Agree with God, that is how you feel.
Repentance – Changing your mind and going in the opposite direction
Example. Almost all the psalms of laments turn to praise.
What I have learned to do to live unoffended at God is that I choose to STAND:
S – Stop giving God credit for the works of the one who comes to steal, kill and destroy. – John 10:10
T– Treat all hardship as discipline knowing He is a Good Father and is working all things together for good and that He will finish the good work He started in me; so I seek His face always and live! Hebrews 12:7-11, 1 Chronicles 16:11; Amos 5:4- Hebrews 12:7-11 v.v.
A – Agree to cast all my cares upon Him, because he cares for me and use my prayer time to exchange my problems for His peace. – 1 Peter 5:7
N– Never forget that the God of all hope fills me with all peace and joy as I trust in Him, so that I can overflow with hope by the power of Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
D – Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything and thank him in all things, knowing that’s His will for me. – Philippians 4:6-7
The question you can ask yourself:
Am I living offended at God?
Conclusion
You can have well healed wounds. It’s God’s will for you to have well healed wounds. You can HEAL.
H – Hasten healing: Want to be healed Jeremiah 17:14 Do I want to have well healed wounds?
E – Engage in Biblical Counselling Proverbs 11:14 Do I need to seek out Biblical Counselling?
A – Always forgive with your whole heart Matthew 18:35 Do I feel like I’ve forgiven?
L – Live unoffended at God Matthew 11:2-6 Am I living offended at God?
When you HEAL, you’ll know you’re healed because people will see gravitas in you.
It [gravitas] speaks to a soul that has developed enough spiritual mass to be attractive, like gravity. It makes the soul appear old, but gravitas has nothing to do with age. It has everything to do with wounds that have healed well, failures that have been redeemed, sins that have been forgiven, and thorns that have settled into the flesh. These severe experiences with life expand the soul until it appears larger than the body that contains it. Then it is large enough to proclaim a holy joy, which makes the soul so attractive.
Can I pray?
Lord, we have been through the waters and you have been with us. We’ve passed through the rivers and not been overwhelmed. We have been through the flames and not been burned up. You have been so, so good to us. Help us want to be healed and find good and godly counsel. Help us replace the lies with your truth and feel like we’ve forgiven and help us always to live unoffended at you.
Time of reflection…let Holy Spirit work.
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